At the risk of pointing out the self-evident, what sets relationships between men and women apart from same-sex relations (assuming heterosexuality) is gender difference and its sexual polarity. It doesn't matter whether that polarity is ever acted upon. It's still there and affects the dynamics of every interaction. This truth is so elementary it falls under the heading of "needless to say." We all know this at some level, political correctness aside. But like the friend with whom this story opened, many women behave as though they don't know this; or have forgotten. As a woman, my friend is clearly interested in men...or she wouldn't have her profile online, stating that she was "straight" and seeking a long term relationship. And yet, when she got the attention she wanted, in the form she admitted she wanted, she still felt obliged to take exception with the timing.
To paraphrase a statement in some of my earlier work, men want what you want, ultimately. You may wish their attention and interest was timed a little more conveniently or that it would take a slightly different form. That said, it's worth remembering you don't control the outcome...only your actions. So what actions can you take if, say, you're meeting online? Can these awkward moments be avoided...or at least minimized? Yes...usually. To do so, consider the following three steps.
1. Make sure your online profile(s) reflect the basics accurately: Who you are (Really); What you want (again, Really), come to mind. There are others, of course, but these two are great points of departure. In order to articulate these things in your profile, of course, you need to have taken the time to sort them out. There's the temptation to say, "I already know that..." Before you default to that opinion, try writing who you are and what you want in 25 words or less, each. If you can't, I submit you have work to do.
2. Once you've determined Who you are and What you want and you're satisfied with how they are expressed, Don't...(seriously) don't...meet someone whose basics are not fit for your own.
3. Work out in your own mind, what you need to know/feel/think before intimacy is in the cards; and how you will recognize it six inches beneath your twitching nose. Until you have whatever it is you need, don't put yourself in situations where you may have to shut him down.
If this advice sounds familiar, it should. It is pretty much the advice my mother gave my sisters...and probably the guidance you received, as well. When all the dust clears, you remain (and should remain) in charge of when you're "ready." But for your sake and his, don't fall into the trap many of the Women's Rights advocates have...namely that men should transform themselves into solicitous, asexual drones until it pleases you to decide you're ready to play with his parts. Should they be willing to take "no" for an answer? Yep! Just don't make them wrong for trying, just because you aren't ready. You are not going to change men. Play it safe. Until you're "ready," take your mother's advice and steer clear of situations laced with potential for intimacy that goes beyond your intent. It will save both of you a lot of trouble.
Men who are truly interested in a woman want to involve that woman in their lives. They want to introduce her to family, friends and co-workers. You should seriously be wondering does he love you for you if you have yet to meet anyone in his life. If he constantly makes excuses for why you can't meet his friends or family, there may be more to it than just them being too busy or unavailable. He may be viewing your relationship as short term only. If you are in this situation and you believe that you feel more for him than he does for you, it may be time to reevaluate things.
There are many individuals looking for love over distance with the use of online dating services. There are many dating services and most are very reputable. In this case it is not the dating service to worry about it is the individuals using the service. Most people are truly looking for a mate and someone to share their life with. There are however a few scams that you should be aware of and keep in mind when looking for that Russian dating experience. There is a particular scam that is prevalent and taking advantage of many lonely people with good hearts. Here is the manner by which the Russian dating scam takes place.
First, an email will come with your name and personal information about a young lady or man from Russia. They write their emails in Russian dialect and give specific details such as the city and how far they are to other cities in Russia. As with other dating scams it is clear to see that the Russian dating scam are not much different. After weeks of emailing back and forth the day finally arrives that you will be asked for money. There are typically two ways by which the scam works; the first is when the Russian individual asks for the money to travel to your home. The second is when they desperately need a telephone bill paid in order to continue emailing you. Either way the Russian dating scam can drain your bank account and break your heart all at the same time.data-ad-client="ca-pub-3754405753000444" style="display:block"
A site serving professional singles will understand the limitations on your time and that you simply can't blow hours reading thousands of profiles in search of that one great person who will fall perfectly into your life. There are special features of a good service for professional singles, which could enhance your dating experience to a great degree.
Professional singles do not just want to look through a large group of people sorted by vague features, such as gender or race. They want to see profiles of people they actually may want to take out for a drink, so sites aimed at this population often have different search terms to make the process of narrowing down the best possible dates a little quicker.
For example, you may be able to search all of the registered users at the site by their profession or trade, or by chat rooms or message boards covering specific themes of interest. You will be able to identify more specific information about these people before deciding to interact with them.
Many sites for professional singles will also require background checks on anyone seeking registration, assuring you that any interactions are at least relatively safe. This is a huge step up from the more popular sites which allow absolutely anyone to register and lie their way through the profile page. You will find quality singles who have nothing to hide at a site dedicated to professionals like yourself.
Focus on Commitment
If you are searching for a real intimate relationship that could lead to that special someone to settle down with, then there are sites out there dedicated to listing only members who seriously share that goal. Instead of going through thousands of profiles of married men and women just out for a temporary thrill on the side, you can go to sites dedicated to serious professionals and know that anyone you choose to spend your time with from that site will be looking for love in a serious manner just as you are.